Saturday, December 17, 2011

Twitter: The hard lessons that I had to learn.

WeFor the better part of the last 3 years I have had a love/hate relationship with Twitter.

I've engaged (and met) some people that I consider my closest friends. 

And I also met someone that I allowed closer than anyone in the longest times. 

I was able (through various disguises by way of screen names and avis) to create a cyber persona that reflected who I am (or in the case of the older accounts, was). 

Up until late summer, I had crafted an identity that was a true reflection of who I am. 

As @half_way_angel, I opened the part of me that showcased my snark, my warped humor, my vulnerability and my sharp edges. Many embraced the realness that I put into the account, finding solace in knowing that someone else was willing to share their stories, their sorrows and triumphs. 

But then, evidently, I got too close to someone and it bit me hard. No longer did that account bring any sense of fun and creative outlet. Rather, it was a constant reminder of what I no longer was able to do. Hence, the twitter-cide. 

Honestly, I didn't want to return to twitter; the bull shit in the last few months...it was tiring. I got tired of being questioned, being spoken about in plain sight. Oh the offenders will proclaim their innocence, will claim that I was just being paranoid or that I blew things completely out of proportions. What ever.

But return I did.

The new account @not_hwa  is everything the other wasn't. I've shared more of my pains, my sorrows and my tragedies. I've shared the heart wrenching pain that has eaten me alive. I miss the freedoms of my other account but I don't miss the drama.

Half_way_angel taught me some very important lessons:

1. Just because you are "friends" with someone online doesn't always guarantee you will have them to defend you.

2. Views and opinions are what makes your stream unique; however those same views and opinions will be held against you by said so called friends.

3. Rants/venting (while being a good means of catharsis) will be mistaken and used against you.

Granted, I've had some people who truly care to reach out to me....to make sure that I am okay.

But I've also had countless run-ins with people who are total assholes. And those are the ones that I pity the most.


Saturday, November 5, 2011

About me through music

Heh. 

I'm doing an "About Me" blog post....something so freaking easy that it is truly difficult. 

I have no earthly idea where to start or how to tie everything together. So...

...the only way to go is in the middle and work my way out. 

(Be prepared...the only way to introduce you to me is through music..... Let's have fun!) 


I'm a serious music lover. 

I love all kinds...from Bach to Mozart to ragtime jazz to neoSoul and everything inbetween. 

I joke that before I could read, I knew the words to songs by The Beatles and KISS. Its partly true. :) 

I associate everything in my life with some group or song. This song, I think nearly everyone can identify with. 

 

My first recognizable brush with The Beatles was on Sesame Street. Remember the muppet parody The Beetles singing "Letter B"? I realized after listening to it that it was actually THIS song....


Mom was a huge Beatles fan...and I get  my love of all things John, Paul, George and Ringo from her. 
Although she couldn't understand my fascination with John (She was a Paul fan girl) and why my fav song from him wasn't "Imagine" but this one....


During my tween age years....I fell for that boy group later known as NKOTB. This song takes me back to my first middle school dance....and listening as the girls all sang this over the DJ (lol) 


And in case you are wondering....this is my favorite New Kid, all grown up....


Thankfully, my NKOTB fan-dom didn't last long. About the time that fascination faded, the 'Seattle Sound" emerged and the music that hit the spot for me. 


Still love that song! :) 

And of course...there is also this one....


*sigh* Now I want to dig my Doc Martens and my Airwalks out of the back of my closet, throw on a flannel shirt and grungy jeans and mosh. 

High school saw me defend my grunge rock roots, and branching out into alt rock with these guys (anyone remember when Clinton invited them to the White House for Chelsea? I do!) 

 

( I still think this video speaks volumes...) 

And yet I found an outlet in a group that I had listened to for a while when high school became just too painful to deal with....


(geez....the shit I did to dull the pain while listening to them.....)

*sigh* 

Still with me? Good....

Somehow, after high school, I found myself in uncharted waters with my music tastes....


(turns out I lived up the road from his cousin!) 

and then I went here....


*sigh*

Somehow, I've gone through every single one of these phases again since my 20s...and currently....I'm seriously in love with these ladies...


and...


Now...think you know me now? :)