And not quite three years ago I got my second chance.
Prior to crossing paths with and falling for The Hubs, those that knew me....and I mean REALLY KNEW ME....watched with silent concerns as walls went higher and I grew harder to outsiders. I was on a downward spiral that not many knew or were aware of.
But then the Fates deemed it was my time.
The Hubs....Paul (💓💓💓)....and I were acquaintances for several years before something kicked in both of us that maybe just maybe there is something more to this than either realized.
Paul came into my life at the time that I needed him most. I will admit that I had nearly given up on finding THE ONE for me and honestly he was the one that was most persistent....putting himself front and center in my line of sight. He made me laugh, filling my inboxes on social media and texts with silly GIFS, funny memes. He never pushed, never rushed things. In fact he was the one that was adamant we take things slow, to really get to know each other. This was a first for me. I was used to the fast paced relationships, the ones that went from 1 to 100 in the blink of an eye. Fast forward to long talks on Google hangouts, even longer phone calls (longest call? 19hrs. Beat that lol).
It wasn't long before I had to admit to myself that I was falling--HARD--for him. I was afraid to say something for fear that it was one sided and he would find reasons to run. (And to be honest, there are still days that I fear he will decide he is better off without me.) When I admitted to myself--and told him--that I love him, it's hard to describe the feeling other than I had found my Happy. There was an obvious change occurring and it's all thanks to him.
The first visit....let's just say that I was nervous as hell. It is one thing to travel within the safety of your own country, It's something totally different to travel overseas. I arrived super early at the airport, because, duh TSA and the like. And waited as the first leg of my flight was delayed (not surprising for Charlotte Douglas....shout out to the QC!) Rushing through Dulles to make the second leg, all I could think was that I would soon be walking out to see him. I didn't sleep on the overnight flight....had too many thoughts rushing through my mind not the least was would we click in person as we did online. Those fears were put to rest the moment I walked out and saw him. The 'hellos' were easy and felt like I had just come home.
And then the surprise hit....
Being with him was natural....was like we had been together for years instead of just months. The ease with which we did things together was amazing. There is this sense of familiarity with us...he knows when I need something without me saying a word and vice versa. It's something that I had not experienced before yet I wanted more of.
The day he proposed we spent playing tourist in another town, walking around and he giving me history lessons on various spots. That afternoon we had made our way to Roker Beach, walking up and down the sands, people watching, and playing in the water. It was during a quiet moment that he wordlessly placed the ring on my hand (obviously I said yes). The look in his eyes at that moment tugged at me asking me that silent question.
The ruby ring he gave me and the gold band he placed on my hand the next year remind me daily that yes indeed he loves me and that yes I am worthy of his love.
It's been a long time coming but everyday I am thankful for him and count myself lucky that I love and am loved by him.
He is my Happy.
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